Conforms to crossword clue
2010.03.02 21:10 9jack9 Cryptic Crosswords
A subreddit for cryptic (UK style) crosswords.
2023.06.01 17:21 treethirtythree Ode to the Tree
As the sun crests over the building top,
a ray of light splits over near and distant objects and I see,
How can I describe their beauty with a vocabulary as limited as mine?
The feeling I get each time the wind whips and brushes the branches,
It's this joy that is buried in my soul and comes rushing forth and fills my whole body and mind with wonder!
A late spring day with a taught breeze. The birds singing back and forth about worms, nests, and making babies,
The blue sky offering clues of what the day holds for saplings - laughter and parks. Games abound.
I pick one in a million and ponder its existence. What did its surroundings look like at birth? From what tree did its roots spring? How many summers and winters have passed between now and the first?
The birds that may have perched or the ants that crawled and the bees that made their honey with it standing firm.
Each layer of bark it created and shed to the ground. The food and air its provided year after year, season after season is the reason some beings exist.
It bears leaves and in six months it'll be bare of them again. It's my friend, my love, my admiration and I can't know its name.
One of me, one of billions and loved all the same. But, when its light passes through my eye, it's loved just a little bit more.
.... https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/12j7vgc/anticipating/jfx2lpl/?context=3 https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/12j6xyn/o\_v\_e\_r\_t\_h\_i\_n\_k\_i\_n\_g/jfx2tzw/?context=3
submitted by treethirtythree
to OCPoetry [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:20 espaulson New to all of this - Fiancé and I decided to start TTC
Hi, I was recommended this subreddit cause y'all have great info and are supportive. I have been reading the internet but there are so many contradicting things that I have no clue now what's going on and am slightly terrified. I am 27 but was diagnosed with endo in 2019 ( had excision surgery, no reoccurrence but experience dysmenorrhea) I have spoken with my doctor and we did a hormone panel and everything looks great and normal she said I will likely have no problem carrying and it might take a try or two but I should be able to conceive naturally. But I made the mistake of looking up ways to support and prep my body for pregnancy with having been diagnosed with endo.
I am not looking for success stories just kinda wondering if anyone has a similar situation and what you did so I can be more prepared instead of terrified.
submitted by espaulson
to TryingForABaby [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:20 Winter_Bumblebee_351 I Need Help Figuring Out What Game I Am Thinking Of
This game is a really old moblie rpg slightly open world but with certain areas being unable to access immediately. I think it was a pixel style mobile game, but I remember the events of the opening scene very well. It started with a boy living with his father in what I think was a small village. He also had a next-door neighbor, who was a girl, and they have been friends ever since they were young . Randomly at some point after the beginning sequence, your father sins you out to go and fight some things to test your abilities. I think during this time you are either transported away or something comes and takes you away to this completely other world. I remember some of the first stages there I am pretty sure I was transported onto this piece of brick that had a unique pattern underneath me and i was in this dungeon with lots of slimes and water all over the ground. I believe in that area or a little later on you meet somebody who I believe was some sort of princess to a kingdom either that or maybe something similar. I think that the name of the game may have had the word quest in it but it was a very fun game and it had a whole bunch of different weapons that you could end up using, and sometimes enemies would drop armor pieces that you could use instead of your current ones and the whole point was to get stronger and eventually fight the big bad, which I think had something to do with a demon army. If anyone has any clue what this game might be please let me know I’m dying to play it again assuming I still can
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2023.06.01 17:16 ReaperoftheCard OSRS3
Shamanism came early! Dont forget to sip your pot boost pot before you pot up to go make herblore pots to pot your pot. Smoke some pot and remember you forgot that you got another pot in your last bank slot. If you arent a fan of herbcutting, remember to vote on the polls so jagex can ignore it because of the lore reasons. Me personally? im excited for the opt in wilderness pvp update so ironman dont have to go out in the sceary woods and lose their 500m gp clue spade
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to 2007scape [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:14 islandjames246 Have an idea for an app.
An app that you can pick up any cargo passengers, charter , you can see them they’d have clickable thumbnails you can interact with , you can build up regions/airports by delivering supplies and equipment and those that deliver the most cargo to those areas would control it so to speak. even find/collect rare items for trading with other players, there would also be an entrusting aspect where you can leave cargo behind and have other players continue the delivery. I just have no clue how to build an app like that lol.
submitted by islandjames246
to MicrosoftFlightSim [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:13 DrakeBarnacle [TOMT] What is the name of this cartoon?
The only thing I have to go off of here is childhood memories so some may be incorrect, but from what I do remember it was a cartoon, maybe from the 80s, that had these colorful talking worms hanging out underground in maybe some kind of bar? Like the scene in Antz but with the worm from James and the Giant Peach, but it was 2D hand drawn animation, not stop motion or CGI. I remember things getting kind of scary and maybe a tunnel collapsing at some point. There may have been some other species of characters (humans or moles, something I can't remember) that were the main characters and the worms may have been antagonistic in that respect. I honestly have no clue. Any of this ring a bell for anybody? It was on VHS but I don't know where those tapes are. I've scrubbed the internet, going through wikis and obscure listicles for every kids cartoon through the 80s and 90s that I can find and nothing seems to come close. Was it a fever dream? It feels like I remember it pretty vividly, I'm hoping someone else remembers too. Any kind of help would be appreciated.
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to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:12 neda6117 I'm a noob. Can someone give me advice how to improve on Suzuka because i really don't have a clue anymore how to get faster(can't do lower than 2.01 with 296 GT3)
2023.06.01 17:10 OnCloudWineee Needing Internet advice…
I’m by no means tech savvy, and just moved to nulu. I’m offered both Spectrum and AT&T fiber optics. Both at the same price.
I tried to call and ask, big mistake. Can someone please in dumb people words explain to me which is better?
I typically only use my phone, and smart TVs on the internet access. Since being in Louisville, I have had spectrum and Verizon for internet. They both had about the same quality and pricing.
However, I have NO CLUE about this fiber optic shit. 😩
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to Louisville [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:07 ImSoBoring890 Men Just Do Not Get It
Yes, this S/R can be a negative space, full of tales of sorrow and woe and descriptions of every bad behavior males have ever perpetrated against women.
But as an older female I read these posts and I nod my head in agreement. I've seen these events in my lifetime, or I've read it about the in the news or in books all happening to other women, and now there's even podcasts about what bad men do to mostly innocent women of all ages.
Over-consumption of this negative content can lead to paranoia. No doubt about it.
Is there anything like this in a man's world? Any harassment he has experienced from maybe age 15 simply because of how he looks in jeans and a polo shirt?
Does a man walk into a workplace, any line of work you can think of, with the expectation that he is there to SERVE others and never lead them?
I'm in my sixth decade of life in these United States and holy god, changes in the attitudes and belief systems of men just takes way too long. I thought my daughters would grow up in a nation where they are finally free of these male attitudes, but they sure have not. If I ever have a granddaughter maybe she will be the free one?
When I say "men don't get it" I mean they do not have a clue what it is like to live in the male culture they have created and perpetuate. And so often, men in leadership roles never consult with women about how we would like to see the culture change. That's my rant for today.
I'm sad that Americans could not solve this massive cultural inequity in my lifetime.
submitted by ImSoBoring890
to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:06 LewNeko There is something about Sunny’s Aspect that even he does not know about
I think there is a missing part of sunny’s aspect which he has always had but doesn't know about which would make him more powerful. Perhaps this ability we are not aware of contributes to Sunny slow Class progression.
- Why haven't we found out about this? How do we know it exists?
- the Short answer is I don't know, but I have some ideas about how he can find out.
- Just like how we would've never known sunny can create Shadows out of echoes if he never got one, perhaps there's something sunny has an affinity with as a divine shadow that he simply never had to chance to interact with and is thereby limiting his strength.
- recall that Sunny is a rather cautious individual. Back when he was just dormant, we had no idea about him being able to Class-up at all. Neither did he, and because of this, sunny never put extensive effort into reaching a higher class until that point.
- this is similarly the case with Saint, sunny had no idea of his dire need for memories until he made a Shadow and found out what he could do with them.
- So what are the clues? How can we really know that he is missing something?
- I don't have anything concrete, but we can look into the past when he unlocked these untold skills, and perhaps see what progress he has towards future skills.
- ways we can see if he is progressing secretly towards an ability we don't know about yet can be listed through encounters with a unique situation. So far, these have been...
Making his first Shadow Soldier
Making the first step towards Shadow Dance and everything from it
Having a Shadow Bond
His Shadows which protect his soul sea from invasion
His class, and shadow bond were two things that definitely would've happened at some point, but some awakened never acquire a echo their entire lives, and unlocking your aspects Legacy as a Dormant is a serious achievement.
Sunny eventually got shadow dance from a dream in the dream realm and watching his own shadow. What else do we know from this?
- shadows, even his own, have a knowledge which he isn't aware of until he sees the details. Had sunny not been attentive, he would've never learned shadow dance, and thereby never realize that his shadows could throw hands better than he does.
- perhaps he can learn more of himself by manifesting his own shadow with [Shadow manifestation] and seeing another unique quality of them?
- a large portion of sunny’s weakness is knowledge, he cannot communicate with shadows despite being a [child of shadows] and even a [Master of shadows] later on. This limits his use of his aspect, as it is up to him to realize or come to a certain enlightenment, just like with Shadow Dance.
- What if there's nothing to realize? There's only one legacy per aspect, so what more could he be missing?
- the aspect legacy he realized through his shadow is a unique example I doubt will occur again. Besides progressing Shadow Dance further, there may be more to find out in a different direction, one I simply don't know about.
- I believe a worth while consideration would be Shadows inside of his Soul Sea, and the fact that they actually moved before. They are not just a trophy case for sunless to gawk at like he did in the forgotten shore once, they are an actual defensive mechanism, but what else could they be? If he knew how, could he use these shadows within him for something more?
- in the chapters after sunless recent ascension, we come to understand that not all shadow are the same, some are particularly ancient and powerful, and are not willing to come to his aid.
What else could these ancient shadows express towards him? I have no idea, and neither does sunny, he didn't I'm even seem curious about how the fact that a shadow can willingly refuse or obey his command means that they are sentient, and sentient beings have knowledge. What reasons could they have towards him to not come to the aid of the Shadow once belonging to late Shadow God? These questions were never raised.
Just how much of sunny does sunny even know?
submitted by LewNeko
to ShadowSlave [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:04 Jangajinx Any clues to fix this?
[Pokémon Essentials version 20.1] [v20.1 Hotfixes 1.0.7]
Exception: NoMethodError Message: undefined method `' for nil:NilClass
Backtrace: UI_Pokedex_Entry:26:in pbStartScene' Advanced Pokédex:71:inpbStartScene' UI_Pokedex_Entry:568:in pbStartScreen' UI_Pokedex_Main:882:inpbDexEntry' UI_Pokedex_Main:1287:in block (2 levels) in pbPokedex' UI_Pokedex_Main:1262:inloop' UI_Pokedex_Main:1262:in block in pbPokedex' MessageConfig:705:inpbActivateWindow' UI_Pokedex_Main:1261:in pbPokedex' UI_Pokedex_Main:1305:inpbStartScreen'
submitted by Jangajinx
to PokemonRMXP [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:04 DrSueuss What's the deal with Anna at the end of Wednesday's episode?
During Wednesday's episode Victor said he was give Anna the gift of "Truth", and then at the end of the episode Anna was placed under arrest by the WSB. Did Victor turn over some evidence against Anna so she would face the truth? If so doesn't anyone have a clue as to what it is?
submitted by DrSueuss
to GeneralHospital [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:03 ApprehensiveGur5050 Do not trust fetch insurance !!
I had been paying for insurance coverage for about a year now, for three cats! I just finally had to use it on a $1,000 vet visit and went to make my claim. I submitted my claim and such. Gave every required document. I then proceeded to log in today to check the status of my claim and my account had been deleted. I called them and they said they have never had my email name or even an account with my pets name on file and they have no clue what I am talking about. Not to mention the horrible customer service and attitude. I’m so at a loss for words as someone who was already struggling with money to begin with that was part of my groceries and rent for this month 😭
submitted by ApprehensiveGur5050
to Scams [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:03 Snoo-82545 how do .dat files work?
So I got call of duty black ops 3 plaza from thepiratebays and it has a data.dat file and a setup.exe file, I can't figure out how to install it it says "Select path to your .DAT for activation" but I have no clue how to do that. Would love some help.
submitted by Snoo-82545
to PiratedGames [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 17:02 Nalutosan808 18-1 Relic Desert
| || |
Hey so I’m stuck on this level. And for the life of me i have no clue how to beat it. The dang cactus thorns. Come out so damn fast it gets me before i get past 4th wave. submitted by Nalutosan808 to sssnaker [link] [comments]
Experimented with using electric snake/ power up’s. Speed. Shield. Fire And grass you name it.
Any tips would be highly appreciated
2023.06.01 16:49 ThatOnePilotDude EE Unisex Bathroom
As a bored flight major, I have only heard the stories about the EE Unisex Bathroom. I am rarely on main campus and when I am it is never in the engineering side. Because of this I had Chat GPT write a little story. I hope you enjoy.
Once upon a time, in the bustling world of technology and innovation, there was a young engineering student named Alex. Alex was a determined individual with a passion for electrical engineering, and their dreams led them to the prestigious Purdue University.
One sunny morning, as the semester was in full swing, Alex found themselves deep in their studies. Hours had passed since they last left their study desk, and nature's call became impossible to ignore. The corridors of the Electrical Engineering building were filled with the murmurs of fellow students, all engrossed in their own academic pursuits.
Alex, with determination in their eyes, set off on a quest for relief. Whispers and rumors had circled among the students about a legendary restroom that was said to hold the title of "Purdue EE Unisex bathroom." Some claimed it was a serene oasis, while others insisted it possessed magical powers that could enhance one's engineering skills.
Guided by their curiosity, Alex embarked on a mission to find this mythical facility. They ventured through the maze-like hallways, searching for clues to uncover its hidden location. The walls were adorned with posters and diagrams of complex circuits, providing a reminder of the academic pursuits within the building.
With each step, Alex's anticipation grew, fueled by stories passed down from upperclassmen. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of wandering, they stumbled upon an inconspicuous door. It bore no distinguishing marks, leaving them uncertain whether it held the secrets they sought.
Summoning their courage, Alex pushed open the door, and to their amazement, they entered a realm like no other. The Purdue EE Unisex bathroom was a sight to behold, an engineering marvel in its own right. The room was bathed in warm, fluorescent light, illuminating sleek metallic fixtures and pristine white tiles. It was a sanctuary of tranquility amidst the chaotic world outside.
Alex marveled at the ingenious design of the bathroom. It seemed as though every detail had been meticulously crafted with engineering precision. The sinks featured motion-sensor faucets, conserving water with each use. The hand dryers were equipped with advanced airflow technology, swiftly drying hands with minimal energy consumption. Every element of this sanctuary embodied efficiency and elegance.
Word of their discovery had spread like wildfire throughout the engineering community. Students from various disciplines flocked to the Purdue EE Unisex bathroom, seeking solace and inspiration. It became a gathering place, where ideas were exchanged, and connections were forged.
As the semesters passed, Alex's journey to the Purdue EE Unisex bathroom became a rite of passage for each new generation of engineering students. The legendary oasis became a symbol of their shared experiences and the pursuit of knowledge.
Years later, when Alex stood on the stage, adorned in their graduation robe, they reflected on their time at Purdue University. They realized that their journey to the Purdue EE Unisex bathroom was more than just a quest for relief—it had become a metaphor for their personal growth and perseverance. The journey had taught them to seek out hidden gems, to embrace challenges, and to explore beyond the boundaries of their comfort zone.
With fond memories in their heart, Alex stepped forward to receive their degree, ready to embark on new journeys that awaited them in the vast realm of electrical engineering. And as they walked off the stage, a new generation of curious minds whispered tales of the legendary Purdue EE Unisex bathroom, eager to embark on their own adventure and discover the magic that awaited them within its walls.
I am now going to make this journey for myself in the near future and will update when I reach the holy land. o7
submitted by ThatOnePilotDude
to Purdue [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 16:49 rarakoko7 $Ucar rara koko private discord have done it again - would you like to join my private elite winner discord and get my early alerts on your cell phones? rarakokopd.com/plans-pricing stamp 943 am 6/1/23 and you all still watching right? still have no clue right?
2023.06.01 16:46 rarakoko7 $Ucar rara koko private discord have done it again - would you like to join my private elite winner discord and get my early alerts on your cell phones? rarakokopd.com/plans-pricing stamp 943 am 6/1/23 and you all still watching right? still have no clue right?
2023.06.01 16:44 celestialhaunting1 Just found out my parents are not paying for my college anymore
Background: I (F19) attended a private university my first year of college and my parents told me that they would pay for all of my college and told me I wouldn't have to work as a student. I really appreciated this and had a great year pursuing a degree in education. It was a really good school and I was supposed to start student teaching my sophomore year. But I got a memorial tattoo for my dog that recently passed, and it upset my parents so much to the point they decided to stop paying for college. That's fine I guess, they're not obligated to do anything and I'm fortunate enough to have went for a year.im struggling because this decision was so sudden, and I already planned on going next fall. I have $10,000 in my savings from working throughout highschool and summers, is this ok/normal for someone my age? My grandparents also recently passed so I will eventually get $10,000 additionally but it is in a CD until I graduate college. What should I do? Should I move out and go to a community college? I could continue working but do online school. I don't know. I have no clue what to do. Thanks for listening :')
submitted by celestialhaunting1
to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 16:44 PANDADA Told my wife we need to separate a few days ago...
So this is going to be long as I feel it's always important to share the full background of our relationship and what we have been through together.
Me (39/f) and my wife (35/f) have been together for 16 years, married for nearly 10. We are an interracial couple as well, her mom (her dad was probably okay with us but just went along with mom) never liked me because I'm white (among other issues) and always threatened to disown my wife if she stayed with me. Eventually we got married though (her parents didn't come to the wedding) and over time her mom seems to tolerate me now.
After my wife's dad passed away suddenly in 2013 (two months after we got married - her mom told her it was her fault, that the stress she caused them by marrying me gave her dad a heart attack; of course that's not true though!), my wife went through an existential crisis and then told me she wanted to transition (she was presenting male at that point). She told me early on when we were dating that she liked to cross dress and I had asked her how deep it went, did she think she was transgender, etc. and she told me at that time that she had previously thought about it, but was okay living life as a boy. What she didn't share at that time though was that she was okay with it because she thought when she'd die that she'd be a girl in heaven because you can be anything you want in heaven. So when her dad died, she faced her own mortality (this was the first person she ever lost in life, so that's a really heavy one as a first 😞) and started questioning what if there's no heaven, etc and decided she better transition so she can live without any regrets. This all came out in early summer 2014 after months of her pulling away from me, suddenly telling me sex was disgusting (after having been very sexual previously), a switch was flipped, and she no longer wanted to have sex ever again. I had no clue what was happening and she kept refusing therapy, etc and I finally broke down one night and asked if she wanted to divorce and she said no, so then I asked WTF was going on and THEN she told me she had been thinking about transitioning for months.
Unfortunately I had a horrible knee jerk reaction from the shock and dealing with the previous other stuff on top of it and said we'd divorce if she did that. 😓 It was really hard on me for a while, and I was still trying to figure it all out, while she was going full speed ahead because she had been thinking about it for months, while it was still new info to me. So essentially I eventually finally stopped thinking "I don't want to be with a woman", and started thinking "can I be with her?" And my mind shifted and when I told her I wanted to stay, but then she told me she wanted to separate and didn't think she felt the same way about me anymore. She essentially pushed me away again because as she later explained it to me, she was already accepting it was over before. We separated, she was staying with her brother temporarily and I moved out of the apartment the day before our first wedding anniversary. We had everything separated and the only thing left to do was make it legal, so when I told her to start looking for a mediator, she asked if we could hold off so she could figure out what she really wanted. 😓 Of course that made me angry. So to wrap up this part of the story, eventually she agreed to do couples counseling, we worked things out, she explained that she got turned off by sex because she knew I only saw her as a man at the time (before I even knew she wanted to transition) and we got back together. I moved back in with her in early 2015, even had a second wedding and renewed our vows in 2018. So essentially ever since early 2015, things have been great. Very happy, no conflict between us at all. Not even during covid.
Then last year she told me she was was suddenly thinking about death again. It was keeping her up at night and consuming her. I have since found out that it actually started in 2020, but she didn't say anything to me about it until last year! She told me she didn't tell me because she didn't want to drag me down with her. I encouraged her to go back to therapy and she did. She started reading books about Buddhism and Taoism too. Then out of no where, in early March, she asked to talk and said she thinks she's bisexual and polyamorous now and then said she wanted to explore this with her two best friends. 😩 My heart immediately shattered. She sees these friends a lot, in fact they're really the only two friends she sees. She told me she has no idea if they even return her feelings or if their even interested in poly relationships at all. They're both cis hetero men and they know she's trans. She also works with one of them. She actually worked with both of them, that's how she met them, but the friend she feels closest to just left the company a few months ago. She said she also knows it's a risk she might lose them as friends too, but just feels like she has to try. I asked her if she'd actively seek other partners if they turned her down and she said no.
This all came out while she's been dealing with her extreme fear of death. She's recently started seeing a new therapist for possible existential OCD. She and I both believe she has ADHD as well, symptoms definitely add up now that I've heard from friends/read more about it, but she hasn't sought to get an actual diagnosis yet. But essentially she told me, she was feeling this void in life (but I guess if you're so consumed by fear of death that it's likely you might feel a void in life?) and now all her views on life has changed - she no longer sees the world as black and white, she has let go of all boundaries and barriers and has let go of all attachments (this seems to be a Buddhism thing?). Her purpose now is to spread joy to people and make sure the people she loves are happy and fulfilled. She basically said she thought about a Chinese drama show she watched as a kid that involved a man having multiple wives, and a love and sex class in college that discused poly - why do we even have rules in life, etc and that "poly isn't bad" and "love isn't a bad thing". Her previous therapist asked her if she had anyone in mind to explore this with, she said she didn't. So then she intentionally thought who would she even explore this with (before saying anything to me), and then landed on these two friends because she "doesn't know anyone else". And then suddenly, poof she has romantic feelings for them? 😵💫 She has such strong feelings that exploring polyamory was the solution to her void, her focus is all on deepening connections with people now (except for me I guess?).
Essentially I'm 100% not okay with this and very monogamous and I've made it clear that if she HAS to explore this, we will have to divorce because I'll be miserable. I'm absolutely devastated after everything we've been through together and marrying twice, but I know I can't force her to stay either and she certainly can't force me to be okay with polyamory. She agreed to stop talking to these two friends while we tried to figure everything out so she hasn't even spoken to them since late March. She can't even say if she still has feelings for them right now since "she hasn't spoken to them for a while". She has been saying she wants to stay together, but because she had such strong feelings about this when she landed on it in her head, she's worried it'll resurface in the future. I just feel like there's multiple things going on and I had asked her weeks ago, what is her concern about not getting to explore polyamory and she literally said "it comes back to my issue with death". She's apparently accepted she's going to die, it's inevitable, but she's atheist now and believes there's nothing after death so if there's no memories or anything, then it's about what can she do with the one life she has to live? She said she wants to be able to experience and do everything she thinks she wants to try so she can look back on her life on her deathbed and say "at least I tried everything". This all comes across as a coping mechanism to me. 😞 But maybe I'm wrong and just in denial? Our couples counselor asked her if she feels stifled in our marriage and she said no. She confirmed she's 100% happy with me, there's nothing missing in our relationship, and there's nothing I need to do better, I do everything great. I just can't understand the mindset to throw away something you're 100% happy with, just to try something else. She even admitted she knows it might not work out, she may lose her friends, polyamory may not be what she thinks it is, but she just feels like she needs to TRY since she's so fixated on how she'll feel on her death bed in the future - and not trying something in her mind means she'll have regret at the end of her life and she wants to avoid that at all costs.
I know she doesn't want to lose me and says she wants to stay, but it's really hard for me to try to rebuild trust and she said she's lost faith in herself to commit again because of what's happened, she's worried she could be fine for another 5, 10+ years and then suddenly it might resurface that she has to explore poly.
Btw, she also did barely any research about polyamory before deciding she wanted to explore it and told me about it. So her decision/action was all based on what she's imagined in her head. It comes across as a coping mechanism to me about her issue with death and trying to make it "okay", but maybe I'm in denial? I'm 2014 she had started to drink and even tried vaping (she never smoked before) to try to cope with her discomfort. When I asked her to separate, I reminded her of that she asked if she has even considered this might be a coping mechanism and she said "maybe..." so I just told her she should probably explore that in therapy then.
She also told me that in order for her to consider other romantic relationships, it MUST be a deep connection in friendship first before she would try to make it romantic (but that's not even how we got together). So that just seemed odd to me, because if you start off platonic for a while anyway, there's no guarantee the other person will just magically develop feelings? And like you're going to intentionally try to make friends with poly people and tell them it needs to be platonic until she feels a deep connection, then she might consider making it romantic? 😵💫
So on Sunday night, I just told her I can't do this anymore. I can't sit here being lovey-dovey, saying I love you, making travel plans in the future like everything is fine. I told her I feel like I'm sitting here watching her stand in a doorway with one foot in and one foot out of our marriage and that she could leave at any moment. She's paralyzed, doesn't want to lose me because she IS very happy with me, but can't let go of the idea of exploring polyamory because then she's worried how she'll feel on her death bed the she didn't try it.
Btw, I don't think poly is inherently bad/wrong, it's just not something I want and my needs won't be met in the relationship. I even told her she may realize HER needs may no longer be met in the poly dynamic. I told her that our relationship is pretty conflict free (outside her existential crisises) and I don't want to throw a wrench into that by inviting possible conflict from her other relationships and how that could impact ours. It just seems too risky and I don't to deal with it. I've also spoken with poly friends on social media who have also gone through really horrible experiences, and I even met a woman last night who is going through divorce because she and her husband opened their relationship and it went horribly, her husband lied/cheated and now they're divorcing. She was the one who was curious about it too and said she's never doing it again.
Anyway, that's my story. I'm trying to focus on me now, in therapy and trying to deal with all the trauma. Trying to make new friends and fill up my time so I'm not sitting at home dwelling on it. It's definitely really hard to just move forward without the person I've been with for 16 years though and thought we'd be together forever, especially after everything we went through before. But while it's hard to imagine a future without her, it's also hard to imagine a future with her like this. 😞💔 Just trying to take it one day at a time right now. I'm going to go visit my aunt for a week on Saturday, so I'm looking forward to that.
Sending support and sympathy to everyone going through this. 💖
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2023.06.01 16:43 Wild_Manufacturer555 I cried at work today.
I was trained to be the on demand infant teacher (so basically 6 weeks to around 9 months). These last few weeks I’ve tried to train myself to be the toddler transition teacher (so basically 10 months-14 or 15 months). I haven’t had any help with curriculum ideas or schedules or anything. I have no clue what I’m doing. By the end of July my class will all be one year old. I have a 14 month old that will sit on the littles ones and bounce, they don’t listen or react when I say no (I hate having yo raise my voice). I’m having the hardest time getting them all on the same schedule (which is what the directors want). I never really did the whole from crib to cot transition before. My room is not meant for toddlers. I’m just so overwhelmed
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2023.06.01 16:41 Shadowcreeper15 Its been confirmed every game shown at the Showcase will be released on Quest 2.