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While deceptively a surface level farce, The Closet also functions as a great satire of homophobia and society's perception of the gay community.
François Pignon (Daniel Auteuil ) is a soft spoken accountant at a Condom compnay who's often written off as a dullard by his coworkers and even his ex-wife and son who want nothing to do with him save for alimony payments. After Pignon finds out he is fired he contemplates suicide, but is interrupted in his attempt by his homosexual new neighbor Jean-Pierre Belone (Michel Aumont) who strikes up a friendship with Francois. After Pignon tells Jean-Pierre of his predicament Jean-Pierre comes up with a way of saving Pignon's job by making him look as though he's homosexual. The condom company fearing a backlash from the gay community who use their products decide to keep Francois on, but Francois's life becomes more and more complicated as suspicions from both friends and co-workers arise, and even the office bully Felix Santini (Gérard Depardieu) starts being uncharacteristically nice to him after co-workers sick of Santini's casual racism and homophobia use Pignon as an excuse to teach Santini a lesson by making him fear is job is dependent on his treatment of Francois .
By directed by french comic legend, Francis Veber, director of a number of well regarded french comedies (many of which have been subject to middling American remakes), The Closet continues Verber's sure handedness at comedy as he takes a seemingly simple farce of false identity, but also builds a surprisingly sweet a sympathetic message towards the gay community.
Daniel Auteuil as François Pignon is pitch perfect in the role. He makes a likable everyman who is written off by everyone and you feel sympathy for him when his son refuses to talk to him and he's the subject of office gossip. It's a really good comic performance that serves the material quite well and helps establish why people would believe these rumors about him when they come out. Michel Aumont as Jean-Pierre Belone is also quite good. A big part of what makes the character work is not only is the character likable with snarky sense of humor, but his own history helps us understand why and how he came up with the idea of helping Francois with the scam in question to keep his job, and adds some nice emotional weight to the proceedings. But easily the best part is Gérard Depardieu as Félix Santini, who starts off as a typical brash abrasive office bully, but after annoyed co-workers sick of behavior tell him he'll be fired if he isn't nicer to Pignon starts over compensating with Pignon to hilarious extremes.
What makes The Closet work is that the joke isn't Pignon being gay, the joke is at the expense of everyone else's reaction and treatment of Pignon when they find out. A comedy like this could have easily been turned into a subpar sitcom plot stretched way too thin in the wrong hands, but Verber's direction and script make it clear that society is the butt of the joke and not Pignon himself.

Does anyone have a recommendation for a place where I can get a cheap meal and drink after a show? My friend and I have been going to Dallas BBQ because it's cheap and fast and next to the subway and they give you to go cups for the giant margaritas. But I can't keep going to Dallas BBQ. I don't eat meat so there's like two things on the menu. I feel like there's nothing between fancy and pizza. Any ideas?

We have been married now for more than half our lives. We have 3 kids together and have been through a lot in our relationship (death of a child, military service away from our home state, etc). He has always been the provider and I have been the stay at home, homeschooling mom. Throughout it, we have had ups and downs obviously. Years ago, he came to the conclusion he "used to be" a narcissist. He cheated numerous times through the first half of our marriage, was very self centered and very controlling. Then he "woke up". Since then, I feel he's still controlling in as far as if myself or our kids don't agree with him, he will get angry. Anger runs his life most of the time. He has distanced me from my family by pointing out all of their faults, saying I'm being played by them, showing aggravation if I speak to them, yet saying "I'm a grown ass woman who can do what I want." I can forgive and forget, he can't. Not my family or his. He super protective and has been ever since he "woke up". Always worried about other people (especially other men) whether online or offline, doing/saying something wrong to me. Yet, when he's in a good mood, things are good. He can be super sweet and has always been there for me when my family hasn't. Albeit, he doesn't really have a good relationship with our kids since they started reaching puberty awhile ago. I think it's because if they buck anything he says is true, he can fly off of the handle. So, they don't really conversate with him much anymore. They are all teenagers for context.
Recently, things have been more rocky than usual. The mood in the house has always ebbed & flowed with his moods. The kids have always been more open with me than with him. I admitted to him recently (not for the first time) that we all walk on eggshells hoping not to upset him. That his angry responses are too extreme and I feel uncalled for. That I will or won't say/do things because of the response he gives when things don't go his way. I feel like that is my biggest fault, I'm a people pleaser and he's always been the one I try to please the most. I've tried time and time again to have open, honest, adult conversations with him but they always turn to yelling and mudslinging from him. This obviously upset him. He was quiet for a few days...then acted like everything was fine. I couldn't put on a face and he could tell I was still upset. So, he got quiet again. He then brought up the whole ordeal (which never happens btw...it's always me who has to bring it up). He now says he's been depressed for years and he's the bad guy and he wishes he could just disappear. (Not suicidal...just thinks it would be better for everyone else if he wasn't around. Yet, he doesn't want to leave or be alone.) This isn't the first time he's said these things (other than the depression part)...yet things will change for a while and then I feel they go right back. I've mentioned therapy for him before (he is a veteran and he says he suffers from PTSD), he'll agree and then it just becomes a lot of excuses. I suggest exercise to try to up his mood, he says he's in perpetual pain (he has back issues from his military time) and is scared to make his back go out again. When asked why he hasn't really spoken to anyone in the house other than a few words in a long time, expect for when it's some serious world problem he wants to talk about, he says he feels like he walks on eggshells as to not piss anyone off. He doesn't have any interests outside of research and sex. Which is another sore point between us because if I don't respond to his advances the way he wants then I get passive aggressive responses and the silent treatment. Another thing I recently pointed out to him. Our son recently got me my first Mother's Day gift from him specifically...yet he told me he has no clue what his dad would like for Father's Day because he doesn't really have any interests and he doesn't know much about him. I mentioned that to my husband and he says he doesn't like getting gifts or birthdays or anything where he's being celebrated. To me, it's almost like he feels he doesn't deserve it. He also never shows excitement for anything anymore. Not birthdays, holidays, nothing. I don't have any friends to talk about this with...I've rarely left the house in 8 years. He has his work buddies, but he hates his job and says he doesn't have any real friends either. Yet, I think he does talk and joke around with them if he's in a good mood. I don't know how he acts with other people because I don't get to see him outside of our house. He comes home from work and doesn't have any hobbies or outside interests. Even if I did have family/friends to talk to...I don't think I would because I don't want others to think poorly of him or me. He says he doesn't keep me from having friends, but I know in the past me being away from home or talking to others can make his jealousy and overprotectiveness kick in. Now, I'm too anxious to even try to establish relationships outside our own because of fear I won't know how or I'll make a fool out of myself. Hence, why I am on Reddit asking for advice.
I understand something is wrong. Is it chronic depression or is this just a way for a narcissist to play the victim? I feel bad just questioning whether his depression is real. I couldn't imagine bringing it up to him. How can I tell? Can depression cause all of these things? I just don't know. What should my next step be? Confront him or try to help him through his depression. If it's depression...I need to be there for him and be a light in the darkness. If it's not...then I would only be adding fuel to the fire, I feel, and validating a narcissist's tactics.

Couldn't find a specific group for this festival so hopefully some of you guys have experience with this festival.
This will be my first time doing elements, going with 1 other friend. We're both females in our mid 20s, we've gone to several festivals together but neither of us have ever done a camping festival. I'm not a stranger to camping in nature, but obviously festival camping is going to be drastically different.
We'll probably do the 2 person GA or VIP bundle. Couple questions:
-Is the preset tent set up worth it or is it better to save money and bring your own tent (I already have a tent). And if you do the present tent option can this be paired with the VIP camping location?
-Is VIP worth it over GA? It's roughly $200-$250 more than GA, is that price justifiable?
-Food questions... How do you cook food or keep food cold? Or is the move to bring food that you don't have to store/cook? Or do some of yall just buy festival food all weekend?
-How are campsites/tents secured? Like how do you prevent someone from unzipping your tent when you're not around?
Any other info regarding camping and the festival in general is greatly appreciated, TIA!

Hello all, I'm here to ask for advice on behalf of someone else.
Some background, in case any of the details are important. A friend of mine was treated horribly at a restaurant service job while she was away at college. She ended up quitting the job two shifts early (after several long, unfair events in the prior shifts). She texted her notice to the bosses. One read it, and acknowledged, the other acknowledged by only saying they would send her final paycheck. This was around late April/early May, she still has not received her final paycheck. What actions would be best for her to make sure she is paid for her work?
As a minor add on, mostly for petty revenge, the restaurant was disgusting, unclean, and had a roach infestation. They shouldn't have passed a health inspection, and didn't, until the inspector "gave them a day" and somehow miraculously passed them the very next day after no changes. We thought about sending a complaint to whichever health inspector agency would be appropriate, but is this the best avenue?
Thank you all so much for any help given!!!

Recently came across this sub and have been heartbroken by some of the stories I’ve read here. Nearly 4 years ago I ended my relationship with my ex who ticked every box of NPD according to my therapist (this was before ‘narcissist’ was thrown around endless).
I was 19/20 at the time. He was my first long term relationship, 2nd person I ever slept with so I was very naive and inexperienced at the time.
He wrecked my self esteem, physically/sexually assaulted me multiple times, tried to isolate me from my friends and temporarily damaged some of my closest friendships.
He lied about his age (he was 2 years older than he claimed) and the university he went to. A year before we met he failed out of the university I went to, and enrolled in the less good one in our city but kept his old student card which is why I didn’t realise for so long. He lied about basically everything else, I could write a whole dissertation about it.
After we broke up, I didn’t have sex for a year until my current bf. I didn’t just have a low libido I was actively disgusted by sex and thought of it as this inherently degrading act done to me. I didn’t even like hugging my friends for a while and I’m usually very affectionate.
While there are moments of painful flashbacks sometimes during sex and occasional bad nightmares, I’ve managed to move on, and I have a wonderful bf of 2.5 years. For a while after the breakup, I genuinely believed I’d never be with someone again. My self esteem was so low I felt unlovable and I was very wary of everyone. But this ended up not being true and I am so glad for it.
My advice:
1) Do not lash out. Especially over text. after we broke up, I admit I was so full of rage I’d call/text him calling him every vile name under the sun, calling him out for everything to which he played victim. I thought doing this would feel good but I didn’t, it just meant I stopped to his level and gave him ammunition to vilify me. 2) Remember that everything negative they say is a calculated move to make you feel small so you won’t leave. It is not a reflection of your self worth. 3) Being single is infinitely better than being with someone who makes you feel like shit 4) When they start their smear campaign, remember that the people who buy into it aren’t people you should care about. Let them sort the wheat from the chaff for you. 5) Keep. Receipts. Pictures, recordings, screenshots. If nothing else, it will remind you aren’t paranoid or dramatic like they’re claiming. They are abusing you.
That’s all I have right now. Sending love and peace to you all.
I want to add on that I am very aware of how fortunate I am in the scheme of things. We were only together a year and a half, shortly after we broke up I graduated and moved cities, I managed to repair the friendships damaged and there are no children involved. I hope this isn’t lost in what I’m saying.

After trying for most of the last evening to contact me on social medias, this morning she showed up at my front door. I told her that she needed to leave, because I didn't want to call the police on her. She started crying babbling why I was treating her this way and why I was keeping her away from my daughter, since she did nothing wrong. I told her that everything she did was wrong, because she did all of this behind my back. She can't be her mother, and she can't take over as the only one breastfeeding. It was delusional even just thinking something like this.
She responded saying that my daughter needed her breasts and that her milk will be surely by far better than mine for the baby. If this wasn't enough, she said that she was worried because my breasts are too small to feed her properly and to please stop being selfish and start thinking what's really better for my daughter, concluding saying that she was fine with me breastfeeding her until she reached a sufficient supply but then I should leave the responsibility to her if I wanted my daughter to grow healthy. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wasn't even mad. I couldn't believe it was my best friend the one who was saying such bulls--t.
She was talking really loud and I guess my daughter heard that because she started crying. And she took it as a sign that my daughter was calling for HER. WTF.
She only left when I was dialing the police, saying that I shouldn't treat her like this and that she's only doing what's best for my daughter.
I'm done. I can't take this s--t anymore. I contacted a mutual friend and I told her everything, emphasizing that she needs help. She agreed to talk to her and see what's going on. In the meanwhile, I'll go to the police and try to file for a RO, and I will talk to a pediatrician as soon as possible. I can't live peacefully like this, and I'm starting to get worried for my daughter.
Many, many thanks to each one who showed support/offered advice, and I will update again if something comes up

I’m a 30/m. I have social anxiety and have been called painfully shy so it’s hard to make new friends. I do have a couple of friends that I made back in high school, but its become hard for us to see each other as much because they both have families and younger children. When we finally are able to make plans to hangout, I’m pretty excited about it but when the day comes I find myself trying to come up with excuses to not go. I really wish I could get out of the way of my own brain sometimes.

I just don't get it, for more than three years now I been watching hundreds of explanation videos, I read articles about it, watched anatomical diagrams of the mouth, had explanations from dozen of friends who know how to roll r. I can trill my tongue, I can do it very easily, I can combine it with sound, I know exactly how and where to place the tongue. I know the position if the tip, the middle and the back of the tounge. Why can't I make it sound like r, it always a d sound or a t sound or some high pitch sound.
All the time on they say the hardest part is letting your tounge relax and letting it move without actually actively moving it, I been able to do this two years already.
Or that the hardest part is to add sound while you trill your tounge, I can do it as well.
And the videos that tell you what the sound you should make while rolling your r are not helpful because even when I make the sound the trilling doesn't come out as r.
I just don't get it
Please, this thing hunt me for so long by now, I need advice on how to do this already.
I'm literally on the verge of a melt down from the frustration.

I've (34m) been in love with my best friend (32f) pretty much since I met her four months ago. She has a very particular type and I'm definitely not it. She just got out of a toxic relationship and still isn't over her ex.
We've started hooking up quite a bit. Now, she's crazy attractive and can get anyone she wants so she isn't hooking up with me out of desperation.
We spend almost everyday together and do everything together. It feels pretty much like a relationship to me.
She tells me she loves me then follows it up by saying just as a best friend. Am I deluded by thinking that this could ever be something more? Should I stop hooking up with her and focus on finding someone who actually wants a relationship with me? Could she want a relationship once she does get over her ex or will she go looking for someone more her type?
Feeling like I'm setting myself up to get really hurt here. Any advice would be much appreciated.
TLDR:
Hooking up with best friend but she doesn't want a relationship right now. Is there hope?

Hey bruvs, Hope you're all having a fantastic day. I’ve always been someone who’s super paranoid about the radiation that is emitted from our smartphones and earphones. Like it’s to the point where I don’t use my airpods anymore and usually will have my phone on speaker phone if I’m talking to someone on the phone. LMAO like my friends always make fun of me for it but I just feel like i’d rather be on the safe side since I feel like we still haven’t seen super long term effects of this stuff.
My brother who is usually the one that makes fun of me the most about this stuff sent me a company called “American Aires” who specialize in making products that are supposed to reverse/cancel the emission of the radiation. I was confused because he always get a kick out of it whenever we get together LMAO. The product apparently doesn’t block the radiation but restructures it to neutralize any physiological impact. It seems like they have a bunch of studies that are peer reviewed on it with what seems like good results so I’m potentially looking into getting one. I was really impressed with what I saw so I’m thinking of potentially investing into them.
I do have some concerns about doing it tho so I thought I’d try and get some more insight on them before I do anything.
List of concerns:
- They have a bunch of studies on how the product works but their isn’t really an easy way to see if it’s working which is kinda sketchy for me (why invest into something where I’m not sure on their product)
- I haven’t had enough time to fully research their competitors and how they match up against them
- Haven’t invested into this kind of stock before and I’m a little unsure if it’s worth it
I do have a couple positives though which in my opinion might outweigh the concerns:
- Company's adjusted sales for Q1 2023 grew by 138% year-over-year
- I really like the idea of their tech even if there is no easy way to see if it’s working (more of a peace of mind thing)
- The stock is pretty cheap so investing in them won’t break the bank
I for sure think I’m going to look into getting the product but I’m unsure on the stock and would love to gain some more insight/opinions from people. Is it worth taking a chance? Are we seeing any potential of growth? I do like the idea of sales increasing YoY so I believe there is but I would love another opinion on it. Cheers everyone appreciate you taking the time to go over my post!

Hi all,
I want to preface this by saying that I am an absolute network noob (can't emphasize this enough) and this is my first foray into router customizations and VPNs. I recently purchased a D-Link 880L from a friend, already flashed with DDWRT v3.0-r44715. I have a protonVPN subscription and was hoping to set up this router to be the access point to this VPNed network, but when I go to Services VPN, I only have the options to choose PPTP ServeClient.
I did some digging and usually this occurs in low powememory routers, but the 880L has 256mb RAM and 128 mb flash, so really this shouldn't be the issue right?
Please help me set up my VPN on this router! Thanks in advance :)

To start off, he’s been doing this since the beginning of the relationship, since I started my fitness account. We both met at the gym where he pursued me at first and I wanted nothing to do with him but then we became really good friends for awhile and eventually started dating. I saw hints of him being insecure at first but I figured it was trauma from a past experience and our relationship was new. But he’s never been in a relationship, while I have had at least 3 and was cheated on in 2 and in the worst ways, reasoning why I would never cheat on someone because I know how it feels, and I have told him this a million times. When he started following every single guy I followed back I told him multiple times it was weird and it made me uncomfortable. I only follow guys back that seem to have good athleticism, coaches, or if know them from high school or prior gyms. I’ve had my friends that follow me both on my personal instagram and fitness account ask me why my boyfriend followed them even though they have never met him. It puts me in a uncomfortable situation and have to respond that I have no idea but in reality it’s because my bf is very insecure. He’s always telling me he’s fat, I don’t love him, I’m going to the gym to find a new guy or when I start my new job I’m going to find someone better. I don’t know if I can deal with this pressure while I’m away at my new job, having to constantly worry if he’s going to question me about other guys, which he did in fact tell me he would since I will be in another state (which he said is normal for any couple). I really want to do well at my job bc it is a dream and I’m so happy I was even able to land a position. I’m not sure what to do even though I have talked to him so many times about the same issue and nothing changes. I have done nothing but respect him and reassure him constantly, I pretty much spend all my time with him and hardly even speak to any of my guy friends anymore because I don’t want him to get jealous or upset. How should talk to him about this?

Was talking with one of my friends and we were talking about therapy and I randomly had the thought that being a 420 friendly therapist is free game and we laughed it off but the thought still lingered in my head. So I came to the only place I knew to ask this, any of y’all know of/are 420 friendly therapists? How do the sessions go?

With the early access just hours away there will be hundreds if not thousands of live streams to join and watch. Many of us have our opinions and "go to" channels for this and if you do that's great! I encourage you to check them out and I hope you enjoy today and the days to follow.
If you are, however, looking for somewhere to go I would love to have you join me at 7pm ET tonight, throughout the weekend and beyond on my Twitch channel. I believe I do things a bit different than most in that my stream is casually "hardcore" and always as family friendly as possible even when playing M rated games like Diablo. Also, the stream is dedicated to building a better experience for hospitalized kids everywhere. As a volunteer at Medical University of South Carolina Children's Hospital (MUSC) I see and interact first hand with children of all ages where I play games, do crafts, read books, and just spend time in general to make their stay better.
As for Diablo 4 I will be attempting the first 1000 to level 100 on hardcore but we aren't taking it extremely seriously. It will mostly be for the fun of it and if we somehow achieve it great but if not the journey will be awesome. If/when the hardcore character meets his demise I will switch to a normal character and just enjoy the game while learning and exploring with chat. I'm also willing and able to play with anyone of any skill level and I would love for you to friend me and join games. It's all about sharing and enjoying a hobby with other passionate gamers.
Thanks and see you in the game! Kriddle Twitch.tv/kriddlekraddle Battletag: Kriddle#1133

Tap link to add me to your Tree Town or add my friend code 56Q6KXHGCY. https://app.befinch.com/share/HdT8

It started three years ago when my mom was having trouble with her phone. She was convinced her phone was hacked even though the problem was with her not knowing how the features of her phone worked. My Dad and I tried teaching her about the features of her phone but she refused, saying that it's her phone and she knows more than we do (I was 12 at the time). Nonetheless, we got her a new phone and even changed our wifi network to give her peace of mind. Fast forward a couple months, and she started saying she was getting burns on her body because of the emfs from our devices. We were confused because there were no burns on her body when we examined her, and also because she suddenly came about this conclusion even though she didn't have problems with electronics before. She took away my phone and got rid of our smart meter because of this. The only reason she couldn't turn the wifi off was because I was doing school online. At this point, my dad went to work in New York and I was left alone with her. She started obsessing over emfs, and watched a lot of YouTube videos and Instagram reels about them (Which I find to be ironic). She started watching over everything. We go back and forth between New York and Georgia because of my dad's work, so I'm left with her for 6 months of the year. Fast forward this year, and she's gotten even worse. She's paranoid about everything. She thinks the satellites at night are spying on her. She doesn't trust our neighbors anymore. She's put a combination of mylar and aluminum, metallic insulation, and emf-proof paint all over the windows, walls, and doors. We can't even walk out of the front door anymore since it's blocked off. The house stinks because she won't open the windows. She doesn't let me see my friends anymore, and every conversation is about emfs. My dad got my my own laptop for Christmas last year, and she confiscates it most of the time. She eats terribly and she's getting sicker and sicker. I'm worried about her and I'm sick of this myself. I'm turning 15 this year and I feel completely isolated. I'm just waiting until my dad comes home, but until then, what do I do?

The tags for this can be budget, credit, or debt.
32m I live in the city of Toronto and am a pretty modest guy. I know what I want to spend and need in a month, but can't help but going over budget intradaily. I'm not a high earner, sitting at $38k a year with one of the major banks, which translates to $2,200 a month.
My expenses per month are $1,000 for rent. $500 for groceries. Phone $80. Gym $80. Haircut $50. It fluctuates but that's generally the breakdown. So I have roughly $500 spending money by the end of the month.
Groceries and gym look expensive but I work on my body a lot and I'm following one of the safer and cheaper ways to bulk up, which costs a bit more. I go to one of the cheaper gyms and also one of the cheaper martial arts gyms which is where I got the total from.
The challenge I'm encountering is spending. I WFH but don't work inside my house because it wreaks havoc on my mental health. I take my work with me to a nearby coffee shop to get things done - meaning I spend $5 after tips on coffee. After work I like to walk around the city, usually resulting in me spending $5-20 more on coffees here and there. It's the small things I let slip by, like once in awhile I'll want a cool beverage, a burger, a pint, or whatever. Sometimes I go further overboard, like on weekends my buddies and I will go out to drink, I can end up spending $40-100 on drinks. This issue is especially prominent at nights because i find I have less self control then. (This is an uncommon thing)
The ease of access of me pulling out my credit card to pay for everything is troubling. My credit card is "Tap Payments" on my phone. The solution is to take it off my phone, but I've been battling this for months, because it's so simple to readd it and forget about it. I know that deep down my issue is self control, discipline, and impulse control. I have a spending problem.
In terms of work, I'm always looking for new work. My friends all have higher paying jobs and I'm looking to pick up additional jobs ex. on Taskrabbit where some of my friends are making double my salary from now. That will help pay down debts but still a lot of this mess comes from impulse control. I have a therapist I speak to about this stuff but at the end of things it still comes down to impulse control; my therapist helps me guide my actions but ultimately is not responsible for me spending money.
I don't feel hopeless or like this is the end of the world, but what can I do to make my spending habits better? Has anyone gone through this? What would you recommend?

Technically he is a fallen soldier. But also all his friends died in battle. Does he walk around feeling smug because he conquered death? Or does he lose his shit and go into a rage at the disrespect everytime he sees a Bolson Construction Memorial Day Sale?

So i dont know what's going on with the game but it's become unplayable. There is such a lag now. It started last week.
It's where you can unload an entire magazine from an LMG into an NPC and they keep walking while taking no damage. And about 15 seconds later that NPC dies and so do i. All the other NPCs move to get around me and as soon as the game catches up, i'm dead with the NPC.
it got to the point that i would carry around the revive hive. That seemed to work for a few days. But just a few minutes ago, i was dead after the revive hive did it's thing and they killed me again.
I've seen this happen before, a LONG time ago. But now i cant take it anymore.
I'm on Xbox Series X, Hard wired, QOS set, 1 gig internet. i have NO other problems with any other online games. i have 2 xbox series x, 1 hard wired, 1 wifi, QOS set on both. i have run the packet tracer and am not losing any packets for the internet. i can have online meetings without issue. It's just this game!
i was playing with a friend and he's been experiencing the same issues and he said it was since the middle of last week (he didn't play the beginning of last week)
​
anyone else having issues?

Just to preface, we have been together 2 years. Before I even found out about his addiction at the beginning of the relationship I set the boundary that I do not like porn and wouldn’t feel comfortable with him watching it. And as far as I know, my boyfriend says he has stopped watching porn and I decided to believe him for my sanity’s sake. But I just can’t knock my paranoia and thoughts about my self image.
It started out with every time we would lay together and scroll through social media, I noticed all his feeds were chock full of women. Women with huge asses and tits and tiny waists. I felt a little uncomfortable but I know how tiktok feeds can throw things in your fyp. Until one day he went to show me a video and he went to his liked page. Instead of the funny video he wanted to show me, I seen he exclusively liked only videos of women scantily clad showing off their assets. Later that day when he left, I decided to look at who he follows on tiktok. Big mistake. I did the math and he was following 367 thirst trap accounts.
Looking at his tiktok following led me down a paper trail of his online activities. He used EVERY single app for porn consumption. He initially defended himself by saying its not real life, he’s just looking, ectect of the common male defense against porn addiction. We talked through it and eventually my bad thoughts subsided. That was until he went to show me something on reddit and the first thing that popped up was a pair of tits. He immediately snatched his phone out of the way and turned it off, which really got the gears going for me. What is he hiding??? Was the constant thought in my brain. He ended up showing me his reddit because I fully broke down and thought we were past this. He had videos saved of grandma porn, he only followed x-rated accounts, he was leaving comments on women’s naked posts. I was mortified to say the least, I knew he watched porn but this was the beginning of me realizing it was a bigger issue.
Recently what has gotten me worked up is something I found. He wanted me to login to his email to check something, the first thing I seen was an unopened message from a women (or more likely a sex bot posing as a real person idek). But I discovered he was trying to video chat and sext with these women the unopened message was from summer of 2021 when we first started going out so it wasn’t recent. But the timing still overlapped with our relationship. In these messages I seen him referring to this woman as a goddess while she called him her slave. They were role playing over text. Mind you this is the same man who looked at me like I was crazy when I asked him to add another finger while he was fingering me. He was willing to role play with this random woman who probably wasn’t even a woman, whilst shaming me for perfectly normal sexual interests.
And I just dont know what to do. Our relationship is perfect in everything other than sex. I cant stop thinking about these things, wondering if he’s still doing this stuff behind my back. I cant stop comparing myself to these women he watched incessantly. I feel ugly and gross and unlovable and I cant help but wonder what is so wrong with me that he’d rather roleplay with a sex bot. I am crushed. I feel traumatized. I look in the mirror and feel disgusted. I do not believe him when he compliments me. I do not know what to do. How do I move past this?